
Here we are! And if I don't write this soon I will forget everything and then our recollection of this trip for years to come will be greatly diminshed. Once a year Sim and I take a trip together, to explore Southern Ontario. Two years ago we did a national trip out East and back, but aside from that it has been relatively local.
2015 - Tobermorey
2016 - Grand Bend & Penetanguishene
2017 - ON QC NB PEI NS and back
2018 - Point Pelee
2019 - Niagara-On-The-Lake
As per usual, the planning for this started months in advance. Sitting and pondering is not something Sim does well. I could mention in passing a place I'd like to visit and in 5 minutes she has 3 locations, and in 10 more minutes we're booked. And that is NOT a slight. This year she found the most amazing B&B. Just as I told her I hate B&Bs and I don't like interacting with other people, she informed me that the whole of NOTL is B&Bs. Unless you want to stay in the Falls and trip over. Yeah but no. Old Ivy Walk is the name. Philip is the host, and he is amazing. He's kind and funny, and he caught me unintentionally looking into his private living room from the outside, pointing for Sim to also look. *Face Palm* But he didn't bring it up, so all must be forgiven.

I picked Sim up at Kipling, and after a short logistics nightmare we were on our way. Last time I picked her up at Kipling, Subway Cres was under construction and I got MAAAAJORLY lost in Spaghetti Junction trying to find my way to the South Parking Lot. The spaghetti is under construction, and they are turning loops into intersections, and this time I found the parking with a lot more ease than Sim. But I digress. We got to the inn, dropped our bags, and headed out for some adventure. "Do you have any reservations?" Philip casually asked, and as we realized we didn't we casually respond, "Uuuuhhhh, no but we'll figure something out." 10 minutes later Sim had found the restaurant we were to be dining at and made a ressie. I can't leave out that she booked the one in St Kits and had to cancel and re-reserve in NOTL. I can't believe she actually figured it out. She looked up some online review, and when she went back to confirm the number of reviews had changed and she immediately knew what she had done. Anyway. That all happened in between leaving our room and arriving at the Niagara-On-The-Lake Golf Club. It was very reminiscent of the Drake Devonshire in Wellington. I ordered a Caeser and Sim had an......ice wine spritzer? Mine was nothing to write home about. Sim offered me a sip of hers. And failing to reciprocate, I attempted to describe the lackluster taste. "It's like, what are the words....oh I don't know, but it's like..." Then I looked at her and sheepishly asked if she'd like to try it.
We were still slightly early for our restaurant opening reservation. We took a small stroll down the main street. Stopping in at the local hat shop to try on a few wears. The hats were great, but pricey. Too pricey. Like legit way too much mullah.

Treadwell Restaurant....Treadwell Treadwell Treadwell. We arrived first, and were able to choose indoor/outdoor and snagged the last unreserved outdoor table. We started by sharing a buffalo mozzarella with fried tomatoes on the vine and a pea pesto. A fancy boc/tomato/basil, and it was unbeeeeeliiiiievaaaaable. Great way to start the meal. Also I had a paper airplane to drink, after the server explained every single ingredient to me. And Sim had..........omg I don't remember Sim's drinks very well. A peach something? Later she had an ice wine that came with some gorgeous edible flowers. When they were accessible she gave me the first one she could scoop and I said, "It taaastes like...oh what are the words....I just can't even...." It was purple jelly bean, but hers tasted like grass so maybe I was just dreaming. For our meals, our meals, our meals. Sim had white fish with a seafood bisque and a few pieces of lobster. I had....haddock on a bed of peas with some other stuff like a poached egg and bacon. We both died, and ate way too much. And then died again and ordered dessert. We split a creme brulee (the best creme brulee I have ever had, and I LOVE creme brulee), and a cream cheese and strawberry blend with a mint sorbet. I mean the strawberry cream and mint was ok but THAT BRULEE. Sim ranks Treadwell higher than the Bicycle Thief, which I consider madness. Bicycle Thief was one of the best meals out I've ever had. And Sim's meal that night was even better than mine. But, Treadwell is a contender. I also don't love love fish, and most of their menu was either fish or deal breaker ingredients. Don't get me wrong, it was still amazing.
What did we do next. I think we went down to the river and took some photos. Hence the sunset pic posted previously. It was so intense. It's hard to see, but the Toronto skyline is clearly visible as you stand there and watch. At the end of the night, as the sun sank back behind Etobicoke, the rays of lights dragged slowly towards Canada, so on the left you had a yellowy orange burst of life, and a pitch back Youngstown, NY just across the way. Oh funny, earlier in the day I had been complaining to Sim that I think my wifi wasnt working. And then I figured out I had roaming data on, after I warned Sim about roaming data, I didn't untoggle. "It must be the American provider messing up my connection." Later in the night as we sat the river Sim pointed across and said "Lets go there." That's NY Sim lol. "Riiiiiight."
We walked back up to the main street, and attempted to get on a biking beer tour, but it oddly didn't work out. The passengers seemed to be offering a free trip to some other people beside them. And we ran across the street and they took off right in front of us. Kind of defeated we shrugged and one guy yelled "HOP ON" and they kept pedaling and off they went. Ironically we met up with them at the following intersection but our sensibilities had been offended. Sim pointed to a bright empty patio at the back of a building with turquoise furniture and said "Lets go there!" And we did lol, because it wasn't America. It was the Exchange Brewery. They seem to focus on Sours, which is agreeable for both of us. We ordered a sampler and based on the number of beers offered had to choose 2 we didn't want and the rest would be served. I voted for Stout and Porter and won on both of them. The beer we both kind of thought might be the least agreeable ended up being our favourite and Sim picked up a bottle to bring home, which I do have at my house. I stowed it in my bag for the trip home and forgot. Afterwards we went back down to the park and got the tail end of the sunset, and walked back in the dark. As we crossed the top of the hill of the riverside park we could see a ghost tour below. Not something we could have easily joined, and I was also feeling very stuffed. "WATCH OUT FOR THE SKUNK UP THERE" the host shouted as us. Duly noted, we scurried our way down the hill and to safety.
Back to Old Ivy. Without enough energy to even go downstairs for a drink we crashed. We had made a stop into the LCBO, and making perhaps the tiniest purchase by volume, Sim picked up a 125ml sparkling champagne? Sim, I can't remember anything you drank lol. The clerk made some smart ass comment like, "Don't drink it all at once."
So we were up at 9 for B&B breakfast. Philip made us these like muffin tray egg & bacon concoctions, and followed it up with a freshly baked croissant to make a full grinned smiley face on our plates. The other guests (three rooms total) were a couple from Ireland visiting their two kids plus one girlfriend in Toronto. And this was their escape from the city. We had a bit of chit chat. I purposefully did not wear my Guinness Brewery shirt as to avoid any unnecessary conversation. I did changed later and as we stood outside waiting for our shuttle I was spotted, and it was brought up later. I did try.

So the shuttle! It was coming to pick us up for a biking tour through the countryside! The idea came to us back in Feb when we started to collab on the whole thing. We booked the wine tour and the B&B. I used the impending bike tour to encourage more trips to the gym. Not a huge success, but enough that I felt good enough I could last the trip. And after 30km on Pelee Island, I had a good feeling I would be ok.
We suited up. I barely found a helmet big enough for this giant head of mine. We gathered as a group, got the run down from our tour guides, Graham and.....SIM HELP ME. Off we went to our first destination, Pondview Estate. They were ready for us, and had a charcuterie board all laid out. Now I may not have mentioned yet, but I hate wine. I kind of signed up for the trip because I wanted to do the biking. The wine was going to be an unfortunate side event that would have to happen. Stuffed from the breakfast by Philip I was barely able to manage the cheese pairings. But mmmmm, they were good. All except the blue cheese, which I graciously signaled to Sim she could have it all. I tried half a pinky nail to go with the ice wine as suggested, and I immediately regretted that decision.

A quick bike down the road and we ended up at InnisKillen Winery. We had a tour of the facility, followed by a sampling and then a sit down meal. I kind of scoughed at a bit of the history the girl was throwing at us. Like their decision to move to automated harvesting because of the "body temperature of the hands" when they used manual labour. Uh huh. $$$$. So much body heat, $$$$$$. They also accept grapes from a wide variety of grape growers. And these grapes growers "know what standards they have to meet"....ok sure. Please, look at these eyes as they roolllllll. It was a good stop, but I think knowing what I know now about commercialized wine, it's a lot less appealing. And if they can't make 10,000 bottles they can't get into the LCBO. It's a total catch-22.
Stop number three. Reif Estates. It was cute. They rushed us in, and SUUUUPER rushed the sampling. We still had chocolate in our mouths and she started to pour and describe the next pairing. Also, I learned I'm not a fan of chocolate and wine together. Which is probably good news because I shouldn't be consuming either of them. I took Sim the long long long and windy road long way around to get back to our bikes. We were literally 2 steps away from them, and I dragged her back thru the cellar room we came in, and as we exited I turned my head to the right and saw the water feature we had been standing beside. Painful.

So after all that, we ended up being way behind schedule. And for the last, longest, and most treacherous biking paths (through parks, and over bridges with cement posts in the middle at each end), we ended up biking faster than each of the other stops. At one point I had a chance to slow back and bike beside Sim and say "Is this like way faster than any of the other stops???" She checked her fitbit later and it revealed her heart rate was a solid 20bpm higher than any other leg of the day. I'm just happy my fitbit doesn't report heartbeat. It might have called 911 on me.
We arrived at Oast Brewery. We sampled 3 beers that did not line up with what was described. We were late and had missed our designated serving time. I tried to help Sim with her samples, but I was so bloated and full of wine and food. It was a short mile down the street back to the starting point. Our shuttle eventually came and took us home. I basically wanted to die I was so tired. Sim took a shower and said, I feel so much better. I knew my shower would not have the same life energy redeeming qualities. Sim went downstairs and I quickly showered, took a 5 minute lay down, and joined her.
Neither of us were hungry for dinner, but after hearing that the oldest running pub/inn in North America is in NOTL, we had to stop in. "You'll be seated in 25 minutes. But you have to be here when I call your name." We took a tiny micro walk down the street, and I pointed at a bench and begged for mercy to sit down. 10 minutes later we headed back, and Sim popped in and said, did you call us? She said, "No, but I called someone else and they didn't listen so follow me." And we were seated! The place was called The Angel Inn btw. There was a group of either army/navy officers or war recreators sitting across from us. The woman behind Sim, barely said 2 words to her husband and spent what felt like the most of our meal staring directly at my line of eyesight. 2 mm to the right I was intensely locking eyes with Sim, as to not stare back. We ordered some fries & gravy. I'd give them a mediocre. I had a water and a tea, and Sim had a Strawberry Yum Yum from the Oast Brewery we had just visited. It was a phenomenal beer. We did attempt a stop-in the next day but they were sold out.
When we got home, we decided to take our LCBO purchases down to the back patio an finish off the night with a little toast. As we turn the corner, the whole Irish lot was walking up the driveway, and the gf asked if they could join us. Of course! They also had picked up two citronella candles, which allowed us to sit at the long table, have a smidge of light, and avoid getting bitten. The husband of the couple revealed he saw my shirt and I went into my shpeal about visiting Ireland, etc. I'm not sure how they feel about people claiming faux heritage. I mean if you go back far enough we're all African right. We had a great chat. Though I couldn't see the sons faces, I felt like I didn't really equally engage them. But I didn't want to engage anyone so I did well enough.
I think Sim was out as soon as her head hit the pillow. I struggled a bit but eventually crashed. Up again for 9 for another amazing breakfast by Philip. It was like a mushroom croquette with a side of fruit and some fresh potato focaccia. This guy seriously knows how to host. We had a little chat and then got packed, and headed up the street for one last in town visit. A quick stroll through the Niagara Apothecary. A cool visual history of modern medicine (a la Dr Quinn, medicine woman). Everything was a potion or an elixir. It's fun to look back on for sure.
Next was a somewhat randomly chosen stop. Laura Secord's historical house. It was just on the way and Sim pointed it out. I checked the gift shop for something for my dad as he's a huge 1812 buff. We read up on some history as we waited for the tour guide to come in. She asked if we knew anything about Laura Secord. I mentioned the Heritage Moments ad which she vaguely acknowledged. It kind of reminded me of the time I took Micro Economic in summer school and they cut out Game Theory. And when it came up in a future class I asked my prof what I needed to know about it. He asked what I did know and replied, "I watched 'A Beautiful Mind'" Which did not sit well, or satisfy the reading requirements. ANYWAY. The historical interpreter did a really boss job of recounting the life and times of Laura Secord. She was a total bad-ass woman. Her step-mom was a suffragette that instilled the heart of a warrior into her. It turns out she practically dragged her husband off the field as he was a civilian army man and last in priority for medical attention. As she was nursing him back to health she overheard discussions of an impending attack, which is when she decided to embark on foot to warn Fitzgibbon. She travelled 30km over two days, and when she finally arrived they at first did not believe her as she was covered in mud and was a "disheveled woman". After she was able to convince them of the truth to her words, they turned her around and made her walk home. Thanks for saving us all Laura, buh-bye now. She wasn't recognized until 40 years later after she told her own story, to I think a visiting royal. On the centennial of her heroic trip, a candy company stole her name, and with no future royalties (aside from an investment in the historic house) continue to use it to this day. Honestly, it was an awesome tour, and the interpreter was really knowledgeable.

Last stop, we hit up the butterfly conservatory. I tried to take some pics for JP, but I couldn't quite get them in the frame. Then Sim turns around and says, how about this one. And I said something very horrible like, "I hate you." It was the Kentucky Warbler all over again. But my luck turned, and I got some cool pics. And we wrapped it up with a purchase of these amazing butterfly wings for Pips and Lils. I saw a little girl wearing them as we walked up and I knew at that moment it would happen. When we finally got home the girls wanted to know what presents we had for them lol. When they opened the wings Pips said, "Can I sleep in these?" And at that point I knew they were a hit. She apparently lived in them on Day 1 of their vacation which thrilled me.
That's it. That's all. Have I sufficiently wasted your time recounting our fifth annual weekend of awesomeness trip. This will be a tough one to top. My hands legit hurt from typing. So I shall upload pics and excuse myself. Good night!